It's been a rough year. It's no wonder I stopped blogging. But today I decided to change that up, because there's something that I've been thinking about a lot recently.
I won't get into all the struggles my family has faced recently, but I will get into how they inspired me to write about something that is largely overlooked in our society...
The mystery topic is... (insert drum roll here...)
Mental Health!
Whoda thunk I'd be blogging about mental health on a blog like this?!
Now, from my experience, the first thing that people see when they think of the words, "Mental Health" is some deranged, apparently mentally ill person in a state of psychosis. Maybe they're hallucinating, or talking to themselves, or shooting imaginary arrows at the moon, it doesn't really matter. But that's not what this is about.
This is about YOU.
YOUR mental health.
This is about the everyday, mom, dad, college student, Jane and John Doe that is just doing the daily norms just like the rest of us...
YOU!
I think it's safe to say that we've all heard the saying that your brain is a muscle, and it should be exercised. Much like the body, our brain benefits from disciplined and regular use as well as challenges and obstacles strengthening it each time we put it to the test.
I, for one, can say I haven't exercised my brain in a very, very long time.
I'm not hard on myself about it, but I think it can serve as a lesson to others, who maybe, like me, don't realize the suffering state of their mental health until it's too late. Then, much like our physical bodies, it takes a lot of time and "exercise" to get it back into a well-functioning and healthy state which can take weeks, months, and sometimes years. After all, if you have been ignoring your mental health for a long time, it's going to take a long time to get it back to where it once was.
My mental health has taken a toll, and it stemmed from one core element...
STRESS! \
(Insert dramatic music here)
Something I'm sure none of you know about... right?
Personally, I've been stressed to the max for well over a year now. From this stress has stemmed deep, debilitating, depression and anxiety. I notice that I'm not as organized and detail-oriented as I used to be. My once sharp and intellectual mind is now foggy and my thoughts scattered. It takes me long periods of time to read even one page of a book no matter how interesting and by the time I'm done with it I can't remember a single thing I just read. Many of you know what I mean.
If my brain were my body, it would be morbidly obese, and on the brink of just keeling over.
If you're there, don't blame yourself. Between work, family, errands, and life in general, mental unwellness can really sneak up on you and before you know it, your brain and mental health are deeply suffering.
So having discovered my mental unwellness and the "obese" state that my brain is in, I decided I have to stop everything else, and make the change happen... starting now. And you can, too!
So.. where did I start?
First and foremost, the worst and most debilitating part of my mental health issues is my severe depression that I am currently experiencing.
Did she really say that?
Yes, I am depressed. Horribly so. Don't misconstrue this confession as taboo or something that is meant to be kept on the low-down. This is, after all, the number one mental illness effecting more than 50% of Americans RIGHT NOW with at least 1/3 being medically and psychologically treated for its symptoms. And, it is something that needs to be talked about, starting now! I think if more people were open to topics of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and whatnot, there would be a lot less of it. Until we take it out from behind the scenes and into a glaring, bright light, how are we to ever get past the idea that depressed people are "different" and "sick". I mean, c'mon, we're not contagious! There's nothing really wrong with us, so why all the hush-hush?!
Equally as important as addressing your depression, and actually talking about it, is DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
This is obvious, right?
DUH! But it's also really, REALLY, hard.
If you've ever been depressed, you probably know what I mean. Sometimes it feels impossible to be anything other than depressed.
I for one, don't want to get out of bed most days, let alone shower and clean and cook and take care of my kid... so how am I supposed to muster up the energy to address this depressive state I'm in?
First off, I stop beating myself up about it.
Like I said, A LOT of people just like you and me suffer from depression. I remind myself that regardless of how I feel I am not some disease-ridden leper who is totally alone and no one could ever understand me, because statistically I know that a lot of people do. I remind myself of this constantly. it sounds silly, but it works.
Second, I force myself to do little things, and then make a big deal out of it. I mean, I ridiculously big deal.
When I force the focus off my depression (I use the word "force" for a reason) and re-direct it towards spending quality time with my daughter, it is a big win for me. So I celebrate my triumph accordingly. I give myself that hypothetical pat on the back, let myself boast about my victory and really bask in the glory of being able to conquer my depression, even if it was only for 20 minutes. I find that doing this, not only makes me feel good and proud of myself for at least a little while, but it makes me want to feel good again. So now my 20 minutes of playing Candy Land with Kaitlyn has lead to wanting to read a book to her. After that, I want to get up and clean because, c'mon... who wants to play Candy Land and read in a messy house?! And hey, now that I'm all dirty and smelly from cleaning, now would be a good time to take a shower. And showering in and of itself is a great feeling.
You get the point...
As far as not being as organized and detail-oriented as I used to be, I have found helpful little things for that, too.
My sister recently adopted and utilized the "minimalist movement". This means she did a major cleansing of material objects. She has nothing, and I mean, NOTHING that isn't of a practical use to her. This means no clutter, no messes of random stuff, and no closets stuffed with old junk that silently nags at her sub conscious to do something about it. (You know how women can be).
You're probably thinking she was nuts, just like I did, but then I really starting thinking about this concept...
How liberating would it be to free myself of everything that isn't needed and doesn't mean anything to me? How would de-cluttering and organizing my physical home and environment effect my mind and spirit?
So I looked into this, and the verdict is in. Countless sites and forums visited on the topic have lead me to the unanimous conclusion that de-cluttering and minimizing our environments drastically benefits our minds and even our spirits, resulting in clearer thinking and an all-too-real de-cluttering of our minds.
So I started doing this. I'm ashamed to say its been a much slower process than I anticipated, but every item I get rid of, or organize, is one step closer to mental clarity. I can feel it working as I'm going through things and organizing, and it's a beautiful feeling. And once clutter is eliminated from areas, I find that I am more inclined to want to organize the items that managed escaped the clutches of the donation box. This sorting and organizing forces my brain to work and challenges it, and directly forces me to be detail-oriented.
Now onto exercising that part of my brain that was once sharp and intellectual...
At this point, reading has been the best medicine in this department... even if it takes me forever to finish the page. I notice that the more I read, and the more variety of topics I read up on, the more information I am gaining on a daily basis.
Too simple, right?
But isn't that great?! It's so simple yet it makes a huge impact on me. From reading certain topics, I continue my own research on topics that have piqued my interest and suddenly I am learning and filling my sluggish brain and tons of knowledge and education which directly benefits my overall intellect and mental sharpness. It's amazing what a difference it has made, and I'm even remembering better than I used to.
Having now read this list, you can see now how doing these seemingly small and easy tasks have equaled out to a big time sweaty, hot, work out for my brain. And at the end of the day? I feel a lot better. My depression and anxiety are significantly reduced, my mental clarity and organization skills increase, and my foggy brain becomes much clearer than it once was.
It's a great feeling, and so easy.
But, this is just the beginning. As with every exercise program, my brain is going to need increasing use and new challenges to continue to build up to optimum health, and these steps are merely the beginning. Think of it as me lifting 5 lb weights, but well on my way to 20 lb ones. You've got to start somewhere, no matter how small!
Of course there is a lot more to my journey that this, and I will keep you updated, but even the smallest step towards optimal mental health is a big deal and something worth doing and celebrating.
What are some of the ways that your mental health is suffering? What are some of the ways you have exercised your mind to overcome these issues?
I'd love to hear from you!
Until next time...
September 18, 2013
November 19, 2012
Not Sure How to Feel About Things...
Everyone who knows me knows that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Rarely does someone ever have to guess what mood I'm in or how I feel about something. I am one to make it known! At least, that's how I am normally. These past few months I have felt a strange mixture of anger and numbness, it seems like so much has come to a head lately and I simply don't know how to deal with it. Everyday is a struggle to stay positive and be grateful for the wonderful blessings I have in my life and I can't seem to shake this bitter and resentful person that has been rearing it's ugly head. In reaction to all the emotional craziness it seems like my brain and emotions go into shutdown mode.
Marriage problems, renovating a house ourselves, moving, having a pushy family member live with us, and still dealing with the acceptance of infertility issues seems to have pushed me over my threashhold of stress.. thus the numbness and the emotional shut-down that I have been experiencing. It's happened before and I've gotten myself out of this dreadful feeling, but nonetheless I hate to feel this way for any amount of time.
Though there are still a few of my siblings who keep in touch with my mom, I rarely hear any news or updates about her, (by choice of course). It seems that anything I hear about her just triggers so much and sends me into a stress induced tailspin. Feelings of anger, shame, guilt, and sadness always surface and I end up thinking about her for days at a time. It has been nearly 5 years since I have seen or spoken to her, yet I still get these feelings with even the slightest mention of anything going on with her.
With all this being said, my sister recently told me that my mom isn't doing so well. There are talks of cancer and heart problems, issues walking and frequent trips to the Emergency Room among other things. The possibility of death isn't far out of reach right now and it is apparently something she has talked about with at least one of my siblings.
I've known for some time that she wasn't in good health, but this time it seems different. Anytime someone brings up the possibility of death it changes things and what used to be something that wasn't too concerning suddenly takes on a completely different level of concern. I don't know all of the details to all of this, I don't think really anyone does since they haven't attended Doctor appointments with her, but it seems to have been confirmed by family members that she may not have much time left.Or perhaps everyone is overreacting?
This leaves me feeling a lot of different emotions and thinking a lot of different thoughts. I wonder if I was wrong in removing her from my family's life. If I should have made more effort to have a relationship with her. If I should have at least allowed Kaitlyn to be a part of her life.I think that if I had only held on and tried harder to get along with her these past 5 years then I wouldn't have to be stuck thinking these things. I wonder if I should go see her, just in case. Or would it be best to maintain my distance so as not to unintentionally reignite communications? I wonder if I will feel guilty if I don't go see her now... or will I regret seeing her? Either way, how would she feel if I suddenly showed up after all this time? What would we say to each other? So many thoughts and questions...
Even with all of this going on I also can't help but feel a huge sense of relief. Knowing that she may soon finally have relief from this alternate universe that she has been imprisoned in for the past nearly 40 years does bring some comfort. Is it strange to admit that? That part of me would be happy if she did die and was finally able to be herself in the next life?
I have mentioned in earlier Blogs that there were brief moments through out the years where my real mom shined through. Though it seemed the majority of my years with her were spent with a woman who had lost touch with reality, I can still remember times when I could tell that my mom was there, not just the person that Schizophrenia had turned her into. During these brief times I remember that she was loving and caring, quiet, and somewhat shy and sensitive. She was like what a mother should be like. The person who had been trapped inside all along.
I can't help but feel like I have been cheated out of having a mother. I know that some people are much worse off, having addicted, negligent, and abusive mothers who couldn't care less if their children were alive. At least my mother made sure I had the necessities and that I was alive, fed, sheltered and clothed and in her weird twisted way tried to express her love to me. Not to mention that it seems that she really did the best she could considering her mental state. However, I still feel this bitterness towards the universe which denied me the chance to have a happy and healthy relationship with the one woman that most young women my age have the closest relationship with... their mother.Perhaps even after all the heart ache and pain that she unintentionally caused me I owe it to her to makes amends before she moves on to the next life...
So for now this is where I'm left... Not sure what to do, or what to think about this situation, should this really be her final days. I suppose for now, with my emotional health and stress levels being where they are, I will just pray about it. Hopefully my answer won't come too late and hopefully all of this worry will be for nothing.
Until next time, Laurie
Marriage problems, renovating a house ourselves, moving, having a pushy family member live with us, and still dealing with the acceptance of infertility issues seems to have pushed me over my threashhold of stress.. thus the numbness and the emotional shut-down that I have been experiencing. It's happened before and I've gotten myself out of this dreadful feeling, but nonetheless I hate to feel this way for any amount of time.
Though there are still a few of my siblings who keep in touch with my mom, I rarely hear any news or updates about her, (by choice of course). It seems that anything I hear about her just triggers so much and sends me into a stress induced tailspin. Feelings of anger, shame, guilt, and sadness always surface and I end up thinking about her for days at a time. It has been nearly 5 years since I have seen or spoken to her, yet I still get these feelings with even the slightest mention of anything going on with her.
With all this being said, my sister recently told me that my mom isn't doing so well. There are talks of cancer and heart problems, issues walking and frequent trips to the Emergency Room among other things. The possibility of death isn't far out of reach right now and it is apparently something she has talked about with at least one of my siblings.
I've known for some time that she wasn't in good health, but this time it seems different. Anytime someone brings up the possibility of death it changes things and what used to be something that wasn't too concerning suddenly takes on a completely different level of concern. I don't know all of the details to all of this, I don't think really anyone does since they haven't attended Doctor appointments with her, but it seems to have been confirmed by family members that she may not have much time left.Or perhaps everyone is overreacting?
This leaves me feeling a lot of different emotions and thinking a lot of different thoughts. I wonder if I was wrong in removing her from my family's life. If I should have made more effort to have a relationship with her. If I should have at least allowed Kaitlyn to be a part of her life.I think that if I had only held on and tried harder to get along with her these past 5 years then I wouldn't have to be stuck thinking these things. I wonder if I should go see her, just in case. Or would it be best to maintain my distance so as not to unintentionally reignite communications? I wonder if I will feel guilty if I don't go see her now... or will I regret seeing her? Either way, how would she feel if I suddenly showed up after all this time? What would we say to each other? So many thoughts and questions...
Even with all of this going on I also can't help but feel a huge sense of relief. Knowing that she may soon finally have relief from this alternate universe that she has been imprisoned in for the past nearly 40 years does bring some comfort. Is it strange to admit that? That part of me would be happy if she did die and was finally able to be herself in the next life?
I have mentioned in earlier Blogs that there were brief moments through out the years where my real mom shined through. Though it seemed the majority of my years with her were spent with a woman who had lost touch with reality, I can still remember times when I could tell that my mom was there, not just the person that Schizophrenia had turned her into. During these brief times I remember that she was loving and caring, quiet, and somewhat shy and sensitive. She was like what a mother should be like. The person who had been trapped inside all along.
I can't help but feel like I have been cheated out of having a mother. I know that some people are much worse off, having addicted, negligent, and abusive mothers who couldn't care less if their children were alive. At least my mother made sure I had the necessities and that I was alive, fed, sheltered and clothed and in her weird twisted way tried to express her love to me. Not to mention that it seems that she really did the best she could considering her mental state. However, I still feel this bitterness towards the universe which denied me the chance to have a happy and healthy relationship with the one woman that most young women my age have the closest relationship with... their mother.Perhaps even after all the heart ache and pain that she unintentionally caused me I owe it to her to makes amends before she moves on to the next life...
So for now this is where I'm left... Not sure what to do, or what to think about this situation, should this really be her final days. I suppose for now, with my emotional health and stress levels being where they are, I will just pray about it. Hopefully my answer won't come too late and hopefully all of this worry will be for nothing.
Until next time, Laurie
October 19, 2011
Work- Attitude really is everything
Those of you who don't already know, I recently got a new job. It isn't anything glamorous, but it is in the behavioral health field, which is the field I want to progress in, and they hired me regardless of my lack of experience. I am excited to finally get my foot in the door and with tuition reimbursement as one of their benefits, I am also excited to go to school and earn my degree in either clinical psychology or counseling.
I work for a non-profit at a transitional/homeless shelter for men. Its not a typical shelter, where random men crash for the night and then are never seen again. The men at this shelter are semi-permanent residents who call the center their home during their stay there. Some are fresh out of prison with somewhat disturbing charges, some have been homeless for years and have called the center their home for a long time, others, not as long. Others are young, much younger than myself, most of them being young men who simply aged out of the foster care system and had no where to go.
There are a lot of cons that I can see so far. The graveyard shift is enough to make most people weary. The small, gray, florescent-lit office that I am confined to most of my shift leaves a lot to be desired. The property rounds made through out the middle of the night, in not such a great neighborhood, is straight-up frightening. And the employee moral, not to mention the moral of the residents, is the worst I have ever seen in any place that I have worked in.
And on top of all of that, my first day was uncomfortable to say the least. Knowing the background of many of these men (convicted rapists... even a murderer just released from a 20 year sentence only 3 days ago, etc), it was hard to feel safe and comfortable as these men stared me down, many of them showing a lot of anger and aggression expressed on their faces. I was really upset after my first day and wondered if this job was worth having and if I was going to be safe while doing it. I wondered if perhaps the behavioral health field is the field for me or not. I wondered if maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment, constantly surrounding myself with unstable people because it is what I have become used to. The job that I was so excited to get suddenly became a major source of stress during the rest of my Sunday, all of Monday, and all of Tuesday before my shift started.
Last night was my first overnight shift and I made a promise to myself to give these men a chance. I promised to go in with a positive attitude and be happy and cheerful, regardless of my previous judgments. But as I pulled up in the parking lot at 11:30 pm, the same feelings of fear and anxiety began to rise up within me again, and I practically dragged my feet as I made my way to the depressing office that I now work in.
The night was slow, and boring, since the men are asleep during at least 80% of my shift, but I was happy to be free of the stares. Only a few stragglers drifted in shortly after midnight and the rest of my shift was uneventful. One young man, mid-20s I would say, came in from work around 12:30 am, asking for a 4 am wake up. I commented how little sleep he was getting, especially considering how tired he already looked. All he said was, "I get 3 1/2 hours of sleep a night. I go to school full time and work full time with overtime. I'm exhausted, but I know it will be worth it. I'm excited to have the opportunity to make something of myself."
After his brief explanation, he simply left, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Here this young man lives in a homeless shelter, works constantly, whose only mode of transportation is a bicycle, and only has 3 1/2 hours to recover from his 20 hour days... and he is grateful for the opportunity he has to do it.
Wow...
I don't know about you, but it really makes me think. It forced me to take a look at my life and the things that I have been blessed with and the many wonderful things that I am ungrateful for. It also forced me to take a second look at how I had judged these men from my only experience of them thus far... that being my first day.
I decided right then and there that I must have something to learn from these men, regardless of their past transgressions. After all, I've made my share of mistakes, and still turned out to be a pretty decent person. Was I simply too hasty in making my decisions about them?
As the men woke up, made their way to the dining room for breakfast, and lined up at my table to take their morning medications, I made it a point to be genuine and kind to each and every one of them, even the ones that gave me the frightening stare-down my first day and the ones I know to be convicted rapists and whatnot.
I greeted them cheerfully, asking them how they slept, what their plans were for the day, made small talk with them, joked, and made it a point to remember each of their names (that will take a while, there are 85 residents after all).
It was amazing to see how many of these men were caught off guard by my interaction with them, like they had never been talked to that way, or had never had anyone (or at least a woman) treat them like they were just normal people. Many looked at me like I was crazy when I greeted them, and shot me dirty looks. But as I continued on with the questions about them and kept a good attitude, they actually started to smile and open up a little bit. One man even commented that he was going to like waking up to see me in the mornings. How sweet is that?!
Please don't think that I am saying any of this to brag or to boast about myself. My point is, on Sunday I was ready to quit, not wanting anything to do with the "types" that lived there. But then I made a conscious decision to change my attitude and leave behind my judgments, and you know what? It was a pretty awesome morning and I can tell that I made a difference in a lot of the men's lives today :)
This is what I've wanted for a really long time. I've wanted a chance to make a difference in this world, even if it was just in the smallest of ways or to only one person. And it seems that I have found it.
I am GRATEFUL for the OPPORTUNITY I have to learn and grow with these men and live up to my job title as a "Support Partner". I am grateful that I had gained enough self-awareness when I talked to that tired guy with the 4 am wake up and was able to then change my perspective and change my attitude, and that by changing those things, and putting a genuine smile on my face, I was able to brighten someone's day, even just a little. Oh, and my day too :)
I work for a non-profit at a transitional/homeless shelter for men. Its not a typical shelter, where random men crash for the night and then are never seen again. The men at this shelter are semi-permanent residents who call the center their home during their stay there. Some are fresh out of prison with somewhat disturbing charges, some have been homeless for years and have called the center their home for a long time, others, not as long. Others are young, much younger than myself, most of them being young men who simply aged out of the foster care system and had no where to go.
There are a lot of cons that I can see so far. The graveyard shift is enough to make most people weary. The small, gray, florescent-lit office that I am confined to most of my shift leaves a lot to be desired. The property rounds made through out the middle of the night, in not such a great neighborhood, is straight-up frightening. And the employee moral, not to mention the moral of the residents, is the worst I have ever seen in any place that I have worked in.
And on top of all of that, my first day was uncomfortable to say the least. Knowing the background of many of these men (convicted rapists... even a murderer just released from a 20 year sentence only 3 days ago, etc), it was hard to feel safe and comfortable as these men stared me down, many of them showing a lot of anger and aggression expressed on their faces. I was really upset after my first day and wondered if this job was worth having and if I was going to be safe while doing it. I wondered if perhaps the behavioral health field is the field for me or not. I wondered if maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment, constantly surrounding myself with unstable people because it is what I have become used to. The job that I was so excited to get suddenly became a major source of stress during the rest of my Sunday, all of Monday, and all of Tuesday before my shift started.
Last night was my first overnight shift and I made a promise to myself to give these men a chance. I promised to go in with a positive attitude and be happy and cheerful, regardless of my previous judgments. But as I pulled up in the parking lot at 11:30 pm, the same feelings of fear and anxiety began to rise up within me again, and I practically dragged my feet as I made my way to the depressing office that I now work in.
The night was slow, and boring, since the men are asleep during at least 80% of my shift, but I was happy to be free of the stares. Only a few stragglers drifted in shortly after midnight and the rest of my shift was uneventful. One young man, mid-20s I would say, came in from work around 12:30 am, asking for a 4 am wake up. I commented how little sleep he was getting, especially considering how tired he already looked. All he said was, "I get 3 1/2 hours of sleep a night. I go to school full time and work full time with overtime. I'm exhausted, but I know it will be worth it. I'm excited to have the opportunity to make something of myself."
After his brief explanation, he simply left, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Here this young man lives in a homeless shelter, works constantly, whose only mode of transportation is a bicycle, and only has 3 1/2 hours to recover from his 20 hour days... and he is grateful for the opportunity he has to do it.
Wow...
I don't know about you, but it really makes me think. It forced me to take a look at my life and the things that I have been blessed with and the many wonderful things that I am ungrateful for. It also forced me to take a second look at how I had judged these men from my only experience of them thus far... that being my first day.
I decided right then and there that I must have something to learn from these men, regardless of their past transgressions. After all, I've made my share of mistakes, and still turned out to be a pretty decent person. Was I simply too hasty in making my decisions about them?
As the men woke up, made their way to the dining room for breakfast, and lined up at my table to take their morning medications, I made it a point to be genuine and kind to each and every one of them, even the ones that gave me the frightening stare-down my first day and the ones I know to be convicted rapists and whatnot.
I greeted them cheerfully, asking them how they slept, what their plans were for the day, made small talk with them, joked, and made it a point to remember each of their names (that will take a while, there are 85 residents after all).
It was amazing to see how many of these men were caught off guard by my interaction with them, like they had never been talked to that way, or had never had anyone (or at least a woman) treat them like they were just normal people. Many looked at me like I was crazy when I greeted them, and shot me dirty looks. But as I continued on with the questions about them and kept a good attitude, they actually started to smile and open up a little bit. One man even commented that he was going to like waking up to see me in the mornings. How sweet is that?!
Please don't think that I am saying any of this to brag or to boast about myself. My point is, on Sunday I was ready to quit, not wanting anything to do with the "types" that lived there. But then I made a conscious decision to change my attitude and leave behind my judgments, and you know what? It was a pretty awesome morning and I can tell that I made a difference in a lot of the men's lives today :)
This is what I've wanted for a really long time. I've wanted a chance to make a difference in this world, even if it was just in the smallest of ways or to only one person. And it seems that I have found it.
I am GRATEFUL for the OPPORTUNITY I have to learn and grow with these men and live up to my job title as a "Support Partner". I am grateful that I had gained enough self-awareness when I talked to that tired guy with the 4 am wake up and was able to then change my perspective and change my attitude, and that by changing those things, and putting a genuine smile on my face, I was able to brighten someone's day, even just a little. Oh, and my day too :)
September 16, 2011
My Book :)
Its been a while so I thought I would put up a quick post.
I've started my book! Yay!
Anyways, I had started a book about my life, yet kept running into problems (writer's block, bad memory, etc) and nothing was getting done.
So I pretty much gave up. Thought maybe I had more to learn and discover before writing the book, and I left it alone.
One night I was laying in bed. I think its safe to say that it was around 2 am, when I suddenly had an idea for a fiction instead (although as I write, I realize that I really am writing about myself and my relationship with my mom). Its funny, I really have learned a lot about myself, and at times I can't help but laugh out loud reading what I wrote. I think I wrote 3 chapters the first night.
Maybe everyone should write a fiction... because since you're the one writing it, then I have no doubt that parts of you will come out on the pages. Just a thought ;)
Anyways, now I have about 11 chapters done, even though I had to skip ahead, so I have chapters from the beginning and chapters from the middle/end done.
I'm still pretty excited. Every time I write a chapter I read it to my husband, who I'm sure now knows the plot by heart. He assures me that its good, I hope he's not just lying to be nice.
So I won't get into the plot... you're going to have to wait for the book. I have a goal to have it done and sent to publishers by the end of the year. I will tell you a few things about the book however....
I want this to be a book that anyone could relate to, even if they have never met, or will never know some who suffers from Schizophrenia. I am doing this because I want to reach the people who have no experience with it, so I can help them understand. And the people who do have experience with it, can have something to relate to.
Anyways, here are some of the points that I want to make in the book.
-How negative stigmas attached to Schizophrenia keep sufferers from seeking help.
-How family and friends of Schizophrenics are effected by refusal of treatment.
-How Schizophrenics often suffer lonely lives because of friends and families abandonment.
-How at times, the only way for loved ones to lead their own happy life is to say goodbye.
-Raise the question of: Who is capable of being held accountable? At what point should there be intervention if any at all?
-The HUGE ripple effect that this disease causes in people's lives.
-That Schizophrenia is a disease, no less than Cancer, yet there is still so much taboo thinking attached to it amongst the general public.
-The possibilities of the outcome of non-treatment and possibilities of outcomes with treatment.
-The power of choice and taking responsibility for our choices.
That's it for now, there is more, but that's what is coming off the top of my head.
I will admit that I am biased. I don't think its a secret that I am more in favor of involuntary treatment rather than no treatment at all. However, in this book I am doing my best to show the reader ALL the viewpoints and remain as neutral as possible so that the reader can come to their own conclusions based on what they read.
Cross your fingers for me! How cool would it be if my book became a best seller?! Hey, it could happen!
I've started my book! Yay!
Anyways, I had started a book about my life, yet kept running into problems (writer's block, bad memory, etc) and nothing was getting done.
So I pretty much gave up. Thought maybe I had more to learn and discover before writing the book, and I left it alone.
One night I was laying in bed. I think its safe to say that it was around 2 am, when I suddenly had an idea for a fiction instead (although as I write, I realize that I really am writing about myself and my relationship with my mom). Its funny, I really have learned a lot about myself, and at times I can't help but laugh out loud reading what I wrote. I think I wrote 3 chapters the first night.
Maybe everyone should write a fiction... because since you're the one writing it, then I have no doubt that parts of you will come out on the pages. Just a thought ;)
Anyways, now I have about 11 chapters done, even though I had to skip ahead, so I have chapters from the beginning and chapters from the middle/end done.
I'm still pretty excited. Every time I write a chapter I read it to my husband, who I'm sure now knows the plot by heart. He assures me that its good, I hope he's not just lying to be nice.
So I won't get into the plot... you're going to have to wait for the book. I have a goal to have it done and sent to publishers by the end of the year. I will tell you a few things about the book however....
I want this to be a book that anyone could relate to, even if they have never met, or will never know some who suffers from Schizophrenia. I am doing this because I want to reach the people who have no experience with it, so I can help them understand. And the people who do have experience with it, can have something to relate to.
Anyways, here are some of the points that I want to make in the book.
-How negative stigmas attached to Schizophrenia keep sufferers from seeking help.
-How family and friends of Schizophrenics are effected by refusal of treatment.
-How Schizophrenics often suffer lonely lives because of friends and families abandonment.
-How at times, the only way for loved ones to lead their own happy life is to say goodbye.
-Raise the question of: Who is capable of being held accountable? At what point should there be intervention if any at all?
-The HUGE ripple effect that this disease causes in people's lives.
-That Schizophrenia is a disease, no less than Cancer, yet there is still so much taboo thinking attached to it amongst the general public.
-The possibilities of the outcome of non-treatment and possibilities of outcomes with treatment.
-The power of choice and taking responsibility for our choices.
That's it for now, there is more, but that's what is coming off the top of my head.
I will admit that I am biased. I don't think its a secret that I am more in favor of involuntary treatment rather than no treatment at all. However, in this book I am doing my best to show the reader ALL the viewpoints and remain as neutral as possible so that the reader can come to their own conclusions based on what they read.
Cross your fingers for me! How cool would it be if my book became a best seller?! Hey, it could happen!
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