Trust

I'm pretty confident that everyone has some kind of trust issue. We've all been hurt at some point in our lives, we've all been lied to, we've all had someone back out on us. Question is...

How are your trust issues effecting you?

I have MAJOR trust issues....

I carry many "side effects" of being solely raised by a Schizophrenic. Since Susan always thought that everyone, everywhere was after her and had it out for her, I was raised in that mind set. I was raised not to trust ANYONE, especially men. According to Susan 99% of the male population is either a rapist or pedophile... just for your information... That's a whole other story though.

Susan really believed that the ENTIRE WORLD wanted to hurt her. I really mean that... She really believed that every single person on the face of this planet wanted to hurt her. If someone cut her off in traffic it was because they wanted to cut HER off. It wasn't just a coincidence that some bad driver just happened to cut her off without knowing who she was, it was always a direct attack on her specifically.

Being raised in this mindset, along with hurtful past experiences, hasn't helped me to be a very trusting person. I personally am trustworthy, however, I find it nearly impossible to trust anyone else.

Allow me to answer my own question... How are MY trust issues effecting ME?

First of all, I have very few close and deep relationships. Most of my relationships, whether it be friends or family members, are very shallow and kept on the "surface". Being intimate and vulnerable and trusting of someone, to me, means an inevitable attack.

Secondly, In the few "deep" relationships I do have, I am always on the defense, ready for someone to use something they know about me against me. This keeps me from trusting those who have proven time and time again that they are worthy of my trust. This also effects those around me, since they do their best to be trustworthy and I do not even give them the time of day, although that have worked very hard for it and are deserving of it.

Really, my list of how my trust issues effect me could go on and on and on and on and... well, you get the point.

I have realized that my trust issues do not serve me. They only cause harm in my life and the lives of those around me. It would make sense for me to trust others, because I know it would have a positive effect in my life. (This applies to all of you by the way).

So why is it that I choose to hang on to my trust issues? Because it keeps me safe I suppose, and I also get to be right when someone down the road does end up hurting me.

This is an issue that I would LOVE to offer advice on and shed light upon, however, trust is not really something that I understand yet.

Susan really programmed into my mind, since the beginning of my life, that everyone, everywhere is out to hurt me. Its nuts, I know. However, getting out of that mindset is going to be a very long and frustrating journey for me.

In the meantime, I am making little baby steps. I understand that I have trust issues. I understand why I have them, and I understand how they are effecting me and my loved ones in a very negative way.

As I said before, I am pretty positive that everyone has trust issues, so by entertaining my opinion, I ask that you look at your own trust issues. Are you aware of them? Do you know why you have them? Do you know how they are effecting you? What can you do to stop negative events in your past from corrupting your future and present life and relationships?

Just something I thought I would throw out there, something I have been thinking about the past couple of days and something for you to think about a little bit too...